Why the experience matters

In looking for a photographer one would hope they are, at the very least, proficient at taking photos. When I first started photographing I realized this quite quickly. I’ve since spent hundreds of hours (thousands?? who knows, I’m bad at math) learning how to be technically good at making a photograph. 

“Don’t try to be original. Be simple. Be good technically and if there is something in you, it will come out.” -Henry Matisse

I read this quote early on and became obsessed with this idea. I studied classical painting books, rules of visual art, the history of photography, took posing classes, read cinema critiques, learned lighting techniques, learned to develop my own film in the dark room, watched YouTube videos of people using the cameras I own, and put in hundreds of hours studying and learning how to edit well and use Photoshop. 

It worked, I got better. Most of my photos follow photography rules. I can shoot a whole session and literally not remember any of the adjustments on my camera settings because I now enter a weird flow state when shooting.  I know my cameras. I’m good at lighting subjects and posing and movement direction. I can edit photos to look like I want them to now (most of the time).

However, as I got closer to where I would like to be I found I was missing a huge chunk of what really matters in this profession. It maybe even matters more than the actual photos I make. And I’m increasingly convinced it is something that determines whether people hire me twice or not.  

It’s the experience.

And to that you might say “what... experience? WTF are you talking about it’s a single website and an email and showing up in a field at sunset and pressing like one button. It’s not brain surgery."

And yeah, totally. But also not really. 

Look, I’m a real research nerd which you might not expect because I’m so happy and well adjusted. But I read this book…

It's called Unreasonable by Will Guidara

Which you might think (side eye) …isn’t that a book about a restaurant? 

Well yeah but also “it’s a book about how to treat people, and how to listen, and how to be curious. And how to learn to love the feeling of making others feel welcome. It’s a book about how to make people feel like they belong.” Fine I took that from the intro of the book but it’s true. 

And while the book of course focuses on the restaurant industry… it mostly explains how to be excellent to other people.

“I believe that whatever you do for a living, you can choose to be in the hospitality business- you hack the privilege of joining people as they celebrate the most joyful moments in their lives and the chance to offer them a brief moment of consolation and relief in the midst of their most difficult ones.  Most important, we have an opportunity- a responsibility- to make magic in a world, that, desperately needs more of it.”

The book is 257 mind blowing pages (yes they are) laying out why injecting enthusiasm in the “mundane” things we do in a service profession can turn something ordinary into a delightful, meaningful, and memorable experience.

Cue up season 2 episode 7 of the Bear called Forks and watch it. It’s like 30 minutes. It’s awesome. Or watch this clip of how everyday at their restaurant is like the freaking Super Bowl. Just imagine it's me in the clip saying "I love this so much, dude."

Side note- this is different than people pleasing because people pleasing is all about "ME". It is rooted in trying to manipulate and control other people’s opinion of me and how they see me. It is not caring about the other person at all. It’s all "my ego".  

Think about this: do you really want to hire someone to photograph your daughter’s wedding who doesn’t text back, seems disorganized, and shows up frazzled and surly and ill-prepared? Then makes snide comments to your cousin about how much SD cards cost? Then after months of no contact delivers the gallery late... At this point how much would it even matter if the photos were good??

All you would remember is that the photographer had a gigantic stain on her clothes, complained about her dinner, was rude to your cousin, then bragged about her “art”. And also that you had to hang out with this grumpy person for 9 hours on your daughter’s wedding day. Ugh. 

Of course it makes sense that if you're being photographed and are unhappy, annoyed, sick, or angry when the photos are being taken that’s what you will remember when you see the photograph-even years later.  

If you’ve ever had a fight with your spouse on the way to family photos and been really angry during and then you place what came out to be a really beautiful photo beautifully framed above the mantel of the family photos, your story when people say “what a nice photo!!!” is- “oh yeah Joe and I got in a huge fight right before this and I was so pissed”. 

Now I can’t control Joe and his yelling but I can make darn well sure that I am not the problem.  

On the flip side here are a couple studies to tell you what you probably already know... that positive mental imagery can brighten your mood. There are a lot more of these kinds of studies but here's just two...

<brightening the day with positive imagery>

<looking at photos of when you were happy can change your mood>

With all of these reasons, why wouldn’t I want to try to make your experience the best I can?  

You fall sick the night before photos? I hope you feel better, let’s reschedule. Your beloved dog just died, do I happen to still have a copy of your gallery from 5 years ago that has some photos of him in it? Let me check. You’re very sorry that your mother in law was snippy to me at your wedding? It happens, it’s not a big deal. Some things can't be helped (like getting sick or rainy weather) but in regards to people's behavior...

If I'm making the charitable assumption about people’s actions or behavior it’s always way easier to provide good service to everyone. 

I listen to this in full once a month- great reminder to keep in my brain.  

If I can put myself in someone else’s shoes and try to see the experience I'm providing through their eyes (like my contact form on my website), things get much much clearer.

For example, I was looking for some doggy exercise classes while I was dog sitting for my mom. I found an great looking place and wanted to know some times and prices. Instead… I got a link to schedule a zoom call in two weeks (crosses eyes in frustration). Not only did I not “book a discovery call” I went and furiously redid my website contact form to make sure that nothing was close to even hinting at this sort of modern day marketing funnel customer capture or whatever that was. Which is sad because the classes really did look fun. I made my website more intuitive, I offer a text instead of an email reply if that’s better for the person inquiring. My prices are listed on my website with no hidden fees. I make sure I text back quickly (again not people pleasing but have you ever waited like a week for someone to get back to you, like please let me pay you US dollars for landscaping my yard… and then nothing, not for a month, maybe never... okay then). 

I’m always trying to improve the way I show up and serve people who trust me with their most joyful and precious memories. 

Am I sometimes cranky? For sure. Am I sometimes disorganized and distracted? Absolutely. But I try to keep these instances very far away from my interactions with the people who hire me if I can. If something slips through the cracks I am totally apologizing and trying to fix it. Also I’ve learned that ice cream and a really good day planner help. 

The point isn’t that I’m perfect, the point is that I care. 

So whether it’s an easier to navigate my website, a smoother inquiry process, or a camera model chosen (from my cabinet of not very many camera bodies, it’s not too many, no it’s not) for your specific lighting conditions, or being understanding if your child comes down with the flu- I am more than happy to offer these.  

I knew I was on the right path when I started getting messages and reviews like the ones below before I even delivered the final gallery. 

Injecting joy and ease and enthusiasm and going above and beyond for people is worthwhile cause.  

The world can use more warm, kind, curious, and passionate people engaging in actual hospitality and not just service. 

Thanks for reading this mini-manifesto of mine. You can use the contact form below if you'd like to chat (via email or text or even a voice call).